Conscious UnCoupling

My brother, Steve, is insufferable. He won’t stop talking about how he’s the next Bachelor. When I try to bring a dose of reality [reality reality, not television reality!], he says I’m just jealous because he’s more popular than me. Whatever!

Steve, The Bachelor? Give me a break!

Anyway, at least Ethel’s still tolerable thanks to her online love affair with Arnold. She is reluctantly working with our neighbor, Baby Girl, to win Arnold’s heart. After the debacle with The Secret, Ethel swore she’d never listen to Baby Girl again. But I guess being in love makes you do strange things.

On Golden Paw

I’m finally back – on MY OWN blog. I was concerned that Sherman was trying to overthrow me, but as my trusted adviser, Deb, pointed out, Sherman is experiencing a crisis with his troops. His focus is on taking care of their needs, not taking over my blog. I hope Deb’s right!

What’s made matters worse is that when Sherman’s not on the computer, Ethel insists she needs it. And I’m NOT taking her on. No way. That old bat scares me.

Would you challenge THIS?

But why does Ethel need to be online all of a sudden? Before I taught her enough to write a blog post, she could barely even turn on the computer! Now, suddenly, she’s a whiz?

It was my brother, Steve, who first noticed Ethel’s change in behavior.

An open letter to my person that’s away at college.

Please come home and open your bedroom door. I know you have lots of studying to do and friends to hang out with at school. And I don’t want to be any trouble to you. Our moms are always talking about how important it is for you to focus on your schoolwork and make new friends. But I promise opening your door won’t take long.

I’m sure one of our moms will happily bring you home to open the door for me.

Basil Worthington comes to Paris

Thank goodness Steve still hasn’t seen my Valentine’s Day post to him. He’s been too preoccupied… he’s in love. Again.

We have a visitor this week and Steve is completely smitten. His name is Basil Worthington and he’s what Steve calls “mature” and “cosmopolitan.” [I imagine that’s what Basil’s mom and dad were going for when they named him that.] Mr. Worthington is six and lives in a place called Louisville.

Basil’s mom and dad hired a professional photographer to take pictures of him. [I think my moms’ pictures look just as nice.]

Basil’s parents took a trip and so he’s staying with us. Steve follows him around like a puppy dog. [I probably shouldn’t insult my brother like that, but I think my Valentine to him more than makes up for it.]

A reluctant Valentine.

Dearest Steve,

I know you never read my blog, so on this Valentine’s Day I decided to tell you—and the rest of the world—that I do really love you. You may not be my brother by blood, but you’re my brother by choice and I think that’s even better.

I still remember when we were in the cage together at the shelter… for almost four whole months. It was so scary. We were surrounded by barking furry beasts. There were happy cats and sad cats and mad cats. Some days I almost gave up hope that we’d ever find our forever home.