(Not So) Wordless Wednesday

Steve MUST go. He’s a no-good, two-timing, double-crossing miscreant. I knew it the day I met him. I saw right through him and his “dumb” act. He may have everyone else snowed – especially Carol – but I KNOW. I’m onto him. And his stealing MY commercial right out from under me is the last straw. 

Ever since the letter from Eli Lilly came wanting to use him [and NOT me!] in their advertisements, he’s been strutting around the house making everyone poke his abs to see how hard they are. Flaunting his treachery without even a hint of shame. How dare he!

And you get a car! Or maybe just a splinter.

I’m not sure if it’s the rebirthing or the response he got from his post, but Walter has a real spring in his step. And he hasn’t chased me for almost two whole days!!! Whatever the reason, I’ll take it!

I can’t say the same for Ethel, however. She’s been a real handful since Baby Girl was here for our rebirthing. Ethel tells me she’s done with Baby Girl. She said she’s followed all of Baby Girl’s instructions for achieving her dreams of a singing career and nothing’s come of it.

For starters, Baby Girl told Ethel to read The Secret and do exactly what the book said. So for over a week Ethel disappeared into her book. What a delightful (and quiet) week that was.

Born again?

Eggnog put me on notice: Calm the chaos or she’s telling our moms on me and my blog. [New to my blog? Click here for a quick recap to get you up to date!] To be honest, things have gotten so crazy that I feel completely out of control. That’s where Baby Girl from across the street comes in.

We were having one of our typical chats through the door when I told Baby Girl about Eggnog’s ultimatum. Baby Girl said she had the perfect solution. She told me that, in order to get what she called “Continuing Education Credits” to maintain her Life Coaching certification, she recently took a class on “Rebirthing.” Baby Girl thought this would be the perfect opportunity for her to put her new skill to work.

Of course I was a little apprehensive because earlier in the week Walter told me he had some concerns about Baby Girl’s therapeutic exercises. So I had a list of questions for Baby Girl:

A bag full of mixed nuts

I’ve been biting my tongue, but someone needs to speak up, so I guess, yet again, it’s going to be me. Carol already thinks I’m a goody two-shoes anyway. This whole blog thing Carol started has careened out of control. We were a nice, quiet household until her blog. Just three dogs, four cats, two moms, and a person who abandoned us to go to college. But now we’re stuck in a soap opera. Let me sum up how ridiculous life in the “not-so-fast-lane,” as Carol puts it, has become:

The show must [unfortunately] go on

As I write, Ethel’s “show” is only hours away. Thank goodness. My ears can’t stand much more. I hope she gets a good turnout or life in this house is NOT going to be pretty.

One of Ethel’s “fans” sent her this t-shirt and she refuses to take it off.

Ethel’s also decided that she needs a band. So I spent the weekend helping her write a Craigslist ad and interviewing potential band members via Skype.