Hello, this is The General. I recently learned about the humiliations contained in Carol’s last post. What nerve she has telling the world how I got stuck in the secret door! In my defense, that door was made for a cat. A cat! Do you know how squishy cats can be?
So my getting stuck should come as no surprise. Heck, I’m PROUD I got stuck! What kind of pathetic dog would I be if I didn’t?
Do they want me to be like this skinny nincompoop?!
Sadly, not everyone sees it that way. Continue reading
Finally, the recognition that I deserve.
– Ethel
Dear Ethel,
Hello. My name is Lou and I work for a company called Procter & Gamble. I found you through your sister Carol’s delightful blog! Continue reading
Steve here. You’re lucky I’m able to blog after the near miss we had the other day! And Carol’s lucky I think quick on my paws!
Hearing what was going down with our moms seeing Ethel’s terrifying, bare-all pictures for Arnold on the computer, and knowing Carol was frozen in fear on LOUD Mom’s lap unable to react, I used my street smarts to think fast and create a diversion.
How, you ask? I made a running leap, pounced on Ethel, and rolled her around a few times to get her good and mad! Fur flew everywhere and Ethel wailed as though I was killing her, causing all three of our humans to come running. Continue reading
The other day I woke to find a message in my inbox from a human named Ms. Rice that works for a company called Eli Lilly. She said Eli Lilly makes a medication called Prozac and they want to expand their market by advertising the drug for use with cats and dogs.
I contacted Ms. Rice and told her that my brother, Walter, has taken Prozac for almost a year now with excellent results [i.e., he chases me a little less] and that I would be more than happy to provide a testimonial for them.
She informed me that they already have a dog lined up and are in need of a cat. Evidently they tried to secure Grumpy Cat [who is already working with Pfizer to promote Zoloft],
then Henri, the Existential Cat [who eschews antidepressants as Continue reading
Hello, this is The General. After playing with the idea of starting my own blog, I decided to stick with guest writing on Carol’s. Seeing how much time Carol devotes to maintaining her blog, I’m afraid a blog of my own would take too much time away from raiding the toy basket and gnawing on chewies. And now that summer’s almost here, I hope to spend more time outside.
Speaking of being outside, Eggnog recently asked me to help her unearth clothes from years past that she’d buried in the backyard. How that five-pound ball of fur buried all of those outfits by herself is beyond me – it must have taken her forever. Thanks to my upper body strength [Steve’s got nothing on me with his pathetic abs], I was able to dig up Eggnog’s clothes in no time. It was refreshing to have someone appreciate my digging skills.
Living in a house with a mom who is an archaeologist, one would expect that a digging dog would be a welcome addition. Maybe even a source of pride. Continue reading
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