Hello, this is The General. I recently learned about the humiliations contained in Carol’s last post. What nerve she has telling the world how I got stuck in the secret door! In my defense, that door was made for a cat. A cat! Do you know how squishy cats can be?
So my getting stuck should come as no surprise. Heck, I’m PROUD I got stuck! What kind of pathetic dog would I be if I didn’t?
Do they want me to be like this skinny nincompoop?!
Hearing what was going down with our moms seeing Ethel’s terrifying, bare-all pictures for Arnold on the computer, and knowing Carol was frozen in fear on LOUD Mom’s lap unable to react, I used my street smarts to think fast and create a diversion.
How, you ask? I made a running leap, pounced on Ethel, and rolled her around a few times to get her good and mad! Fur flew everywhere and Ethel wailed as though I was killing her, causing all three of our humans to come running. Continue reading →
The other day I woke to find a message in my inbox from a human named Ms. Rice that works for a company called Eli Lilly. She said Eli Lilly makes a medication called Prozac and they want to expand their market by advertising the drug for use with cats and dogs.
I contacted Ms. Rice and told her that my brother, Walter, has taken Prozac for almost a year now with excellent results [i.e., he chases me a little less] and that I would be more than happy to provide a testimonial for them.
She informed me that they already have a dog lined up and are in need of a cat. Evidently they tried to secure Grumpy Cat [who is already working with Pfizer to promote Zoloft],
Hello, this is The General. After playing with the idea of starting my own blog, I decided to stick with guest writing on Carol’s. Seeing how much time Carol devotes to maintaining her blog, I’m afraid a blog of my own would take too much time away from raiding the toy basket and gnawing on chewies. And now that summer’s almost here, I hope to spend more time outside.