A Message from Baby Girl [Lakshmi]

Hello, my fellow sentient creatures. My name is Lakshmi, though you may know me better as Baby Girl.

As the neighborhood’s Spiritual Guide and Life Coach, I have grave concerns about certain incidents at Carol’s house, and I feel compelled to communicate with the sentient beings of the outside world; that is, you dear readers.

How is it that I have undertaken to guest blog (I prefer electronically guide you) is a question you may be asking yourselves. Your ingratitude in even questioning my presence is evident but forgiven

Conscious UnCoupling

My brother, Steve, is insufferable. He won’t stop talking about how he’s the next Bachelor. When I try to bring a dose of reality [reality reality, not television reality!], he says I’m just jealous because he’s more popular than me. Whatever!

Steve, The Bachelor? Give me a break!

Anyway, at least Ethel’s still tolerable thanks to her online love affair with Arnold. She is reluctantly working with our neighbor, Baby Girl, to win Arnold’s heart. After the debacle with The Secret, Ethel swore she’d never listen to Baby Girl again. But I guess being in love makes you do strange things.

The final Coke.

Steve here. You’re lucky I’m able to blog after the near miss we had the other day! And Carol’s lucky I think quick on my paws!

Hearing what was going down with our moms seeing Ethel’s terrifying, bare-all pictures for Arnold on the computer, and knowing Carol was frozen in fear on LOUD Mom’s lap unable to react, I used my street smarts to think fast and create a diversion.

How, you ask? I made a running leap, pounced on Ethel, and rolled her around a few times to get her good and mad! Fur flew everywhere and Ethel wailed as though I was killing her, causing all three of our humans to come running. 

For your eyes only.

I have trouble to report. Last night LOUD Mom got the computer out to work on a chapter she’s writing for an archaeology book. When she went to turn it on, she noticed the computer was only in sleep mode. As she typed in the password, I ran to the desk and lunged for the keyboard. Maybe I could shut the computer off before she woke it up!

But it didn’t work. She caught me and put me in her lap, then proceeded typing. Up came the Skype window in all its glory. LOUD Mom yelled to Little Mom and asked her if she’d been using Skype earlier and could she close the program? Waiting with bated breath, I hoped LOUD Mom would just close the window without looking too closely. But of course not.

In walks Little Mom saying she hadn’t been on the computer in several days. Looking over LOUD Mom’s shoulder, they stared blankly at the Skype window with Ethel’s calls to Arnold, The General’s calls to Uncle Waldo, and, yes, Eggnog’s calls to Snoop Dogg.

“What on Earth is this?” LOUD Mom inquired. “I have no idea,” replied Little Mom. “Is that Snoop Dogg??”

On Golden Paw

I’m finally back – on MY OWN blog. I was concerned that Sherman was trying to overthrow me, but as my trusted adviser, Deb, pointed out, Sherman is experiencing a crisis with his troops. His focus is on taking care of their needs, not taking over my blog. I hope Deb’s right!

What’s made matters worse is that when Sherman’s not on the computer, Ethel insists she needs it. And I’m NOT taking her on. No way. That old bat scares me.

Would you challenge THIS?

But why does Ethel need to be online all of a sudden? Before I taught her enough to write a blog post, she could barely even turn on the computer! Now, suddenly, she’s a whiz?

It was my brother, Steve, who first noticed Ethel’s change in behavior.