Ever since Ethel received my letter – I mean Lou Kout’s letter – she’s been on Cloud 9. I almost feel bad. Almost! She’s not been back in our person that’s away at college [but home for the summer]’s bedroom since the letter came, which means I’ve had the room all to myself.
Hearing what was going down with our moms seeing Ethel’s terrifying, bare-all pictures for Arnold on the computer, and knowing Carol was frozen in fear on LOUD Mom’s lap unable to react, I used my street smarts to think fast and create a diversion.
How, you ask? I made a running leap, pounced on Ethel, and rolled her around a few times to get her good and mad! Fur flew everywhere and Ethel wailed as though I was killing her, causing all three of our humans to come running. Continue reading →
Steve MUST go. He’s a no-good, two-timing, double-crossing miscreant. I knew it the day I met him. I saw right through him and his “dumb” act. He may have everyone else snowed – especially Carol – but I KNOW. I’m onto him. And his stealing MY commercial right out from under me is the last straw.
Ever since the letter from Eli Lilly came wanting to use him [and NOT me!] in their advertisements, he’s been strutting around the house making everyone poke his abs to see how hard they are. Flaunting his treachery without even a hint of shame. How dare he!Continue reading →
I received your letter detailing a list of demands which must be met in order to work with you. While we think you would be an excellent fit to market our product, Prozac, to cats, I am afraid that we cannot meet your demands.
First, asking your moms to re-home your brother, Steve, is cruel, even by our standards. Second, Continue reading →