Desperately Seeking Simplicity

The General has been one giant GRUMP since his chewies were confiscated.

Evidently dogs on diets don’t get donuts chewies.

I don’t feel bad for him, though. Where are MY treats?! If being on a diet means not getting any treats, we cats have been on a diet our WHOLE LIVES!

I’m so sick of all the drama around here, anyway. Why can’t I just be a cat? My old lady sister, Violet, is always talking about how back in her day things were simpler. A dropped twisty tie from a loaf of bread was a thrill she could ride high on for minutes on end (or until Little Mom picked it up), a fly in the house provided endless entertainment (until she ate it), and sprawling out in Little Mom’s lap while she read a book was heaven on Earth.

Violet in her carefree and happy youth.

I can hardly imagine a life like that. Instead I have a wanna-be thug brother,

a sister who is a former canine rap icon,

and another brother who’s scared of his own shadow (literally).

Some say that I only have myself to blame for the chaos around me…

Ugh, Ethel.

But who listens to her?

Ethel’s boyfriend, Arnold. [Yes, he’s STILL around. Glutton for punishment.]

My best friend and mentor, Baby Girl, has been encouraging me to nourish my “Inner Kitten.”

I asked Baby Girl what she meant by that since I’m powerless over what I eat. She said it has nothing to do with feeding my tummy; rather, it’s about feeding my soul.

I’m still confused.

Oh well. In the meantime, I decided to listen to Violet. I’ve taken a break from blogging — since everyone says cats don’t belong on the internet! — and am getting back to the things I enjoyed as a kitten. Like playing with spider crickets.

I think spider crickets like playing with me as much as I like playing with them. They hop around, I bat at them, and they hop around some more. Sure, sometimes they lose a leg or two (or three or four or five), but it’s all in good fun!!

That is, until Little Mom calls LOUD Mom in to “put the disgusting spider cricket out of its misery.” Humans just don’t get it sometimes.

At least the weather’s nice which means my moms are keeping the door to the sunroom open – and opening all of the windows. If I can’t play, at least I can nap in the fresh air and sunshine. I guess life is pretty good after all.

I love it out here!