Hello, this is The General. I recently learned about the humiliations contained in Carol’s last post. What nerve she has telling the world how I got stuck in the secret door! In my defense, that door was made for a cat. A cat! Do you know how squishy cats can be?
So my getting stuck should come as no surprise. Heck, I’m PROUD I got stuck! What kind of pathetic dog would I be if I didn’t?
Do they want me to be like this skinny nincompoop?!
Sadly, not everyone sees it that way. Continue reading
My apologies for cutting my last post off so quickly – I’m afraid things got a little out of control. You see, just as I was thanking my guests for their participation in my debate, I heard a scuffle in the kitchen. Following the noise, my eyes caught sight of a blur of black and white. Was that my brother, Steve? And what was that around his neck?!
Sure enough, looking more closely, there was Steve parading around on the other side of the door with a sign around his neck:
Hello. For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Carol. I’m a cat and this is my blog. Tonight I am moderating a debate between my brothers, Walter and Sherman [aka The General], and our outside neighbor cat [and my personal mentor], Baby Girl. My sister, Eggnog, has graciously agreed to transcribe the debate, so it’s airing nearly Live!
After drawing twigs, the order was determined to be The General, Walter, and Baby Girl. I asked all of my participants to keep the discussion polite and respectful. After all, this is a family blog Continue reading
Walter and The General are in the middle of what are turning out to be some messy negotiations with the Springhill Ballers. The fellas want to engage the Ballers in their effort to rid our yard of its seedy squirrel element. But the Ballers have a lot of demands that I don’t think the boys can meet, including providing fresh salmon for their annual gangsta picnic (our moms don’t even eat seafood, so how are they going to get their paws on that?!) and meeting 50 Cent in person (even Eggnog doesn’t talk to him anymore – she says he’s not as “relevant” as he once was). I guess time will tell.
The General has taken to watching quite a lot of news lately. I thought he was sleeping with the television on, but he claims he’s just resting his eyes. [His eyes may be resting, but his lungs aren’t – what a snore!]
Also not as quiet as he looks.
The General said he hopes that by learning how humans handle their crises, he’ll be able to develop some alternative strategies Continue reading
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