Steve is bringing SexyBack… to Walter?

Steve here. I was supposed to Skype with Basil last night, but he messaged me to say he’s not my boyfriend and never was – and then told me to leave him alone.

Why would he say that? The week that Basil visited was pure bliss. We’re perfect for one another. Basil was the fish in my treat, the milk in my bowl… my dream come true.

Or so I thought.

AT-AT it again.

Well, I regret to report that the bedroom door is still closed. But life goes on. I especially wish the door was open so I would have one more place to escape from Steve.

Steve’s been on Cloud 9 ever since he met our recent visitor Basil Worthington. I worried Steve would fall apart when Basil returned home to Louisville, but no such luck. Steve’s more determined than ever to be the perfect feline specimen. Right now he’s trying some new ab workout he found online that involves rubberbands and tennis balls. Don’t ask. He swears if he could just get his paws on a Shake Weight he’d have the most sculpted body ever. He watches too many infomercials.

The Shake Weight [As Seen on TV]. Saturday Night Live did a funny spoof of the Shake Weight ad [click here to watch]. Steve got SO MAD when I showed it to him! He said there’s nothing funny about his quest to achieve the perfect abs.

But enough about Steve. He’s the least of my concerns right now. Violet is the one that worries me.

An open letter to my person that’s away at college.

Please come home and open your bedroom door. I know you have lots of studying to do and friends to hang out with at school. And I don’t want to be any trouble to you. Our moms are always talking about how important it is for you to focus on your schoolwork and make new friends. But I promise opening your door won’t take long.

I’m sure one of our moms will happily bring you home to open the door for me.

The Ultimate Squirming Championship

Sherman’s decided that maybe if he can lose weight on his own, our moms won’t make him participate in the vet’s Biggest Loser challenge. Of course he’s not foregone his wet food and he DEFINITELY hasn’t given up his chewies. He also poopooed my suggestion of a family fitness regimen. Instead, he’s opting to increase his activity level by tormenting Walter.

In all fairness, Sherman calls it play. And I think that’s what Walter calls it, too… for the most part.

Walter attempts to surrender, but Sherman goes in for the takedown.

Besides, Walter has a lot of nervous energy to get out

Basil Worthington comes to Paris

Thank goodness Steve still hasn’t seen my Valentine’s Day post to him. He’s been too preoccupied… he’s in love. Again.

We have a visitor this week and Steve is completely smitten. His name is Basil Worthington and he’s what Steve calls “mature” and “cosmopolitan.” [I imagine that’s what Basil’s mom and dad were going for when they named him that.] Mr. Worthington is six and lives in a place called Louisville.

Basil’s mom and dad hired a professional photographer to take pictures of him. [I think my moms’ pictures look just as nice.]

Basil’s parents took a trip and so he’s staying with us. Steve follows him around like a puppy dog. [I probably shouldn’t insult my brother like that, but I think my Valentine to him more than makes up for it.]